Ultimately it boils down to a very tough question-When is Enough Enough?

I’m convinced I can start right now and rebuild a financial fortune (by most accounts a fortune anyways). But the question becomes, am I doing this to compete with others for the personal satisfaction of my ego? And what is the ultimate cost, not necessarily in dollars, for this economic triumph?

One time I went with a friend to meet a couple for dinner at a chinese restaurant. For some strange reason my friend, who had never met the other couple, felt compelled to prove to them she could eat an entire ball of wasabi right off the plate.

We thought she was nuts! Why was she so strongly compelled to prove she was better than us by such a small token?

Of course afterwards she turned red faced and sweated bullets the rest of the meal quietly keeping to herself through her agony.

Then and now, we thought the act bizarre. She had nothing to prove to us, why suffer the cost for a moment of triumph? Was it worth it?

I fear the same whenever my inner capitalist kicks in and I start thinking about HOW MUCH money can I make. Who am I trying to impress? What will be the cost and will it be worth the sacrifice?

Would you rather hear a story about a strange and far off land (ok, maybe just Key West) or a story about how much money I made?

Before, I was sold on the idea that I need to save a nest egg big enough to spin-off 80% of my pre-retirement income to have a great retirement. I was sold on the mantra of save X% of your income for Y years at an annual rate of Z% and one day, you will have money coming out of your ears and you’ll be able to finally start living the way you want to. But now I am starting to realize what it all costs.

I’m selling my todays for tomorrows.

If I ever reach retirement, what will life really be like? Will I really want to sail the world or at least the eastern seaboard? Will I really live that life of adventure, seeking out those experiences that I postponed for so many years? I think not. I think that if I continue to buy into the mantra, I will wake up at 65, finally retired, and realize that I gave up the best years of my life for a more comfortable but a lot less exciting lifestyle.

The retirees I see are playing golf, gardening, walking on the beach, and similar activities. I have to ask why. Why have they chosen to live as they do? Were they any less adventurous at my age than I am?

Did they plan on retiring to a life of gardening and golf? I think not.

I think that they thought about their exciting life post retirement and dreamt about all of the exciting things they would finally get to do only to finally reach that age and discover two things; they’re worn out and they no longer have that sense of adventure. They’re worn out because they gave the best years of their lives to their company and they’re less adventurous because they just spent the better part of 30-35 years supressing that natural desire to explore and experience.

So, I started thinking that if my post 65 life isn’t going to be as exciting as the glossy magazine articles lead me to believe then perhaps I don’t need to save so much, work so hard or invest so aggressively.

In summary, I agree, most of us need to start thinking about retiring with a little ‘r’ so that we can start living with a capital ‘L’.